Confidence is a choice

“You have to be a legend in your own mind before you can be a legend in your own time.”

I saved this quote from a book I read last year. The author believes – as do I – that confidence and a belief in your own ability are essential to being great. Everyone can act positive and confident when things are going their way, when everything is going right, but what happens when things don’t go your way? When no matter what you do, you always end up on the wrong side of the equation? Having self-confidence at all times can carry you through the jungle of misfortune, safely to the other side. Confidence isn’t some crazy concept; yet it isn’t something you are born with, or can improve through medicine, but there are ways to enhance and build your confidence. One way is to look back on previous performances or accomplishments. Think of a time where you performed well, whether on the playing field, in the classroom, in the office. What happened? What was going on? What did this moment feel like? What emotions did you experience? What thoughts did you have? Confidence derives from positive emotions, feelings, and thoughts that we have throughout our day. If you answer those same questions about an instance when you performed poorly, you’re most likely going to compile a list of negative emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Therefore, the first step in building confidence is to think back on those previous performances or accomplishments and latch onto the positive emotions, feelings, and thoughts that were present. Another way to build confidence is through verbal persuasion. This can be accomplished through a coach, a teammate, or yourself, with the goal of receiving positive, motivational statements. There are times when we need to hear those special words from a third party, to get us psyched up or to instill belief in ourselves that we can do it, but it is also important to be able to build confidence without the assistance of others. Self-talk is a great way to build self-confidence. It is impossible to stop negative thoughts from appearing in our minds, but we have the ability to respond the way we want. During any type of performance, pressure situation, or when negative thoughts appear have several “power” statements at your disposal to assist you in those times of need. A power statement is one that is purposeful, one that is productive, and one that is possible. We don’t want our self-talk to limit ourselves, or to restrict how we perform. Therefore, making a power statement can give you the confidence necessary to increase your odds of success. A power statement can include a phrase to focus on the task in front of you, what you want to accomplish, or what your next move is. It can be a positive affirmation, such as “I can do this” or “I am ready for this.” It can be a statement to counter the thoughts you are having, such as in pressure situations, you can state “I’ve practiced these moves before, so I know I can do it now”. Alter your self-talk and watch your confidence climb to new levels. This past Christmas, I obtained my motorcycle license. I registered for a safety course and a part of this course was a two-day training period riding the bike, when on the last day, there was a seven-step evaluation to receive your license. I felt pretty comfortable throughout the training period except for two exercises on the final day. Upon the completion of the final day of practice, we began the evaluation process, and of course, the first step included the two exercises I was not confident in. To make matters worse, out of the 12 riders, I was the first in line. Needless to say, I was incredibly nervous, thinking that “I do not want to fail” and “I hope I do not mess up.” Through the use of positive self-talk, I changed my tune and responded with “I can do this” and “I am going to give it my best shot and see what happens.” Although I was still nervous and did not go through the obstacles perfectly, I did enough to pass that step which gave me a huge boost in confidence the rest of the evaluation process because I knew I had passed my most difficult exercises. Nerves are normal and a part of every performance, but had I gone into those two exercises with any forms of doubt or worry, I am certain I would not have been able to pass that portion of the evaluation. Confidence is a choice. Responding to our thoughts is a choice. We have the ability and the right to think on purpose. When you need that extra boost of confidence in your next performance or your next presentation, replicate those positive experiences, incorporate power statements in your self-talk to give you the confidence that you need to step out of your comfort zone and into a realm of possibilities.

Through the use of positive self-talk, I changed my tune and responded with “I can do this” and “I am going to give it my best shot and see what happens.” Although I was still nervous and did not go through the obstacles perfectly, I did enough to pass that step which gave me a huge boost in confidence the rest of the evaluation process because I knew I had passed my most difficult exercises. Nerves are normal and a part of every performance, but had I gone into those two exercises with any forms of doubt or worry, I am certain I would not have been able to pass that portion of the evaluation. Confidence is a choice. Responding to our thoughts is a choice. We have the ability and the right to think on purpose. When you need that extra boost of confidence in your next performance or your next presentation, replicate those positive experiences, incorporate power statements in your self-talk to give you the confidence that you need to step out of your comfort zone and into a realm of possibilities.