How many times have we professed the idea that we are going to take this New Year to truly become a new version of ourselves. Whether it be working out, being healthier, striving for that new job or feeding that passion that has been long forgotten.
I believe we genuinely have good intentions on trying to become a better version of ourselves, but we lack the necessary tools to execute these changes. Often we look up and its July and those weights have layers of dust on them. It’s April and we are back sitting in the drive-through line getting another super-sized burger meal. It can be very frustrated and deflating to think you are wasting time or not putting effort towards the actions that you have intended for yourself. My goal in this month’s article is to give you some tools to use to help with focus and discipline, all so you can become the version of yourself you have been desiring. Pull out your notepad, or your phone, and let’s create the best version of you, one day, one week, and one month at a time!
The Macro, Micro Ideology
One of my favorite tools to use when talking with my clients is the Macro/Micro ideology. With commitment you can allow yourself the room for this mindset change and it will prove to be the first line of offense in your becoming the next iteration of you. This concept begins with understanding that you have to be both the owner (Macro) and the employee (Micro) of your life. As the owner, you have to be able to see big ideas and long-term goals, not getting caught up in the minutiae of day-to-day life operations, but being focused on the grand prize. It’s being cognizant of the day-to-day but not affected by it, that is the job of the owner. On the other end, you have to also be the employee (Micro) of your life. This is the ideology that compartmentalizes the owner’s strategy into day-by-day incremental goals in order to keep growing and staying on track. When you put this hat on, you cannot be focused on big picture ideas, you have to do the hard, often tedious work. If you need to name these two different “positions” in your life different names or give yourself official titles to stay on track, I recommend doing so. We love stories, movies, dramas, so the more you live into the understanding of the fantasy of these positions, the more you can treat them as a game and accomplish what is needed.
We truly do not understand how imperative our self-talk is, not only to our goals but to our psyche. In previous articles, I’ve written about our ability to be bad communicators due to our emotions controlling our words. The communication we engage in with ourselves is usually much more negative than the way we communicate with others. This is where affirmations, especially goal driven affirmations, come in handy. What is an affirmation? An affirmation is asserting intentional words to help you believe you can achieve the goals you are aiming for. For example, if I am interested in being more confident about how I pursue intimacy, I may have an affirmation that validates the part of myself that is self-conscious about intimacy.
Affirmations do not fix the issue in and of themselves, however their purpose is to support you in finding the fix. Affirmations are you being your own cheerleader. Have you ever gotten ready to do something that may have been something you were afraid of, then stopped and said: I can do this! That was an affirmation. They can be that simple or they can be very specific. I use affirmations so often, I don’t even realize I’m doing them, they have just become such an integral part of my self-talk. Create a list of affirmations to support your goals. Say them every morning when you wake up and every night before bed. Any time you are struggling with motivation, or believing in yourself, recite your affirmations.
The most important tool I want to impart on you is creating and executing a plan. You can create a vision board, a goal list, an accountability partner, but if you don’t have a plan and ways to help you execute that plan, you may start drowning before you even dip a toe in the water. You have to create your plan with the understanding of ways to also execute it. When you go into the kitchen, to cook dinner, you have a plan. It may be a loose plan, but it is a plan. You have to first know what you want to eat, then find the ingredients, follow the directions on how to prepare the dish, how long it sits in the oven and then you can eat. You don’t just walk in the kitchen take an onion and raw chicken out of the refrigerator put them on a plate and start eating.
The same is true for creating a plan. We don’t just hastily put goals down on paper or a vision board and think they are going to magically manifest. The plan is the work and being intentional and disciplined will help this become a reality in your life. You need to create the structure, the schedule, and do the research on what it’s going to take to achieve said goal and then start working towards making it happen. That’s your plan!
Creating a new version of yourself can be overwhelming and like I always say, perhaps the most formidable fight you will ever be in, is the fight with yourself. In order to be different, you have to have intention on being different. In order to change your life, you have to change your mind.
The new year will bring a new you if you create the right intention! Looking forward to seeing the new version of you and if no one has told you lately, I believe in you!